The Blessings of Love

I’ve always heard the expression, “Count your blessings” but until a few years ago it sounded like an admonition i.e., “You should count your blessings.” It fell into the same category as “You kids nowadays take everything for granted” which I heard from many adults as I was growing up.  Instead of feeling grateful for what I had, that phrase often evoked a guilty and defensive reaction in me.

Maybe it’s because I am older or because I’m more conscious now but, for whatever reason, gratitude has become the biggest part of my life these days and it feels great.

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The thing I am most grateful for is my increased capacity to give and receive love.  I remember reading Erich Fromm’s book in college, “The Art of Loving.”  I realized early into the book that my capacity to love others was pretty much limited to my immediate family.  Back then, I thought that if you admitted you loved someone, you had to do something about it, like get married, which, at that time,  I was no where near ready to do.

I had a pivotal moment a few years later that I’ve never forgotten.  I was riding back to Boston from a wedding in New York with a woman who was also at the wedding.  She was a few years older than I was.  We talked for several hours there and back.  We were being open and honest with each other in a way I hadn’t experienced before.  I remember having this sudden realization, “I love her!”  Right after that, I started getting upset.  My next thought was, “But I have a girlfriend and now (since I love this new person) I’m going to have to break up with her.”  I was so conflicted, I didn’t know what to do or say so I just sat there contemplating my next move. It finally occurred to me that I could love more than one person and could be loved by more than one person and not have to do anything about it.  I could just enjoy the feeling.  I finally told her what I was experiencing.  She just smiled knowingly and gave me a hug. It was wonderful and liberating. My capacity for love increased dramatically after that.

Today, in the midst of the most uncertain times economically, politically and geologically, I feel more blessed, grateful and hopeful than I have ever felt.  My gratitude has expanded to include not just the incredible people in my life but all my experiences and all the things I have, especially the little things.  I’m grateful that regardless of my immediate situation, I can feel grateful and focus on what I love.

I’m also grateful that I get to express myself in this blog and I appreciate you for reading and listening to what I’ve written.  I wish for you the happiest of Thanksgivings and all the love you can handle.

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