
I’ve always heard the expression, “Count your blessings” but until a few years ago it sounded like an admonition i.e., “You should count your blessings.” It fell into the same category as “You kids nowadays take everything for granted” which I heard from many adults as I was growing up. Instead of feeling grateful for what I had, that phrase often evoked a guilty and defensive reaction in me.
Maybe it’s because I am older or because I’m more conscious now but, for whatever reason, gratitude has become the biggest part of my life these days and it feels great.
AUDIO VERSION
The thing I am most grateful for is my increased capacity to give and receive love. I remember reading Erich Fromm’s book in college, “The Art of Loving.” I realized early into the book that my capacity to love others was pretty much limited to my immediate family. Back then, I thought that if you admitted you loved someone, you had to do something about it, like get married, which, at that time, I was no where near ready to do.
I had a pivotal moment a few years later that I’ve never forgotten. I was riding back to Boston from a wedding in New York with a woman who was also at the wedding. She was a few years older than I was. We talked for several hours there and back. We were being open and honest with each other in a way I hadn’t experienced before. I remember having this sudden realization, “I love her!” Right after that, I started getting upset. My next thought was, “But I have a girlfriend and now (since I love this new person) I’m going to have to break up with her.” I was so conflicted, I didn’t know what to do or say so I just sat there contemplating my next move. It finally occurred to me that I could love more than one person and could be loved by more than one person and not have to do anything about it. I could just enjoy the feeling. I finally told her what I was experiencing. She just smiled knowingly and gave me a hug. It was wonderful and liberating. My capacity for love increased dramatically after that.
Today, in the midst of the most uncertain times economically, politically and geologically, I feel more blessed, grateful and hopeful than I have ever felt. My gratitude has expanded to include not just the incredible people in my life but all my experiences and all the things I have, especially the little things. I’m grateful that regardless of my immediate situation, I can feel grateful and focus on what I love.
I’m also grateful that I get to express myself in this blog and I appreciate you for reading and listening to what I’ve written. I wish for you the happiest of Thanksgivings and all the love you can handle.

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This is an excellent blog. Jim’s has hit the nail on the head. People that appreciate what they have and the gifts that others have will naturally increase their capacity to love.
Thanks for the insight
Jim! Spectacular story.
I struggle with the thought of spending the rest of my life with the woman I’m currently with quite frequently. This thought has nothing to do with her. She’s the most perfect person I’ve ever met and I’d be happy to spend the rest of my life with her, but a question of doubt alway enters my mind. That is, “Does marriage mean I can not fall in love with someone else….for the rest of my life!?” I mean, I feel a lot of really great emotions for and from so many others. Should I ignore these feelings or embrace them and do nothing?
As always – Thanks for your direction.
ME
Thanks for your thoughtful comments, Masoud. In my experience, the more you allow yourself to really love someone, the more love you have for everyone. The more you give, the more you have to give. Emotional maturity sometimes has to do with allowing yourself to feel attraction and energy and love for another and not necessarily act on those feelings, just enjoy them.
Thanks for your comment, Kurt.
Hi Jim,
Your story was very interesting. What amazes me is how quickly you can love someone after a brief conversation. That is surely a gift.
Thanks, Ollie. I agree, it is a gift.